Recently I posted a link to a webinar that focused on how to deal with in-laws and I was very amused by the array of remarks that I received, both on Facebook and through email. Most of the responses that I received were either reflective of a defeatist attitude, or a nonchalant one, declaring that one does not need a webinar to be told how to live a practical life. My question is, "When can you actually tell that it is time to brush up on your relationship skills?"
As a relationship coach, I get my fair share of justifications from women, ranging from, "My situation is different," to "It is easier said than done." I disagree with both statements.
I have learnt that the first step towards improving your state of being is admitting that countless other individuals have not only gone through a similar situation, but also emerged triumphant. Singling yourself out usually ends all possibilities of learning from others' accounts and experiences. Of all the women that have walked on this earth until this very moment, do you actually believe that no one has felt what you are going through right now?
To the second statement that I want to refute, it is always easily done once you have said it is so, to yourself. Call marriage easy and it will be easy. Call it a chore and it will most certainly tire you out. It is fashionable to complain about marriage life, the in-laws, and generally how life changes after you tie the knot.
Everyone remembers the straight-A student in school, the one who swore she did not study enough for an exam, and then aced it. You can call her brainy, intelligent, lazy or lucky. The truth remains, she put in a lot more effort than she admits to you, and even herself. For her, studying for the exam was easy since she kept telling herself that it would be. Marriage has the same approach, tell yourself you can do it, remain committed to it, and you will believe it is easy and that attainable for all.
There is no wisdom in calling for a repair-man for a job that could be fixed through maintenance. Similarly, developing and discovering yourself as a woman will help you save your relationship in ways that are easy and within your control. Finding ways to dedicate more towards your marriage will eliminate the need for repair.
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