Monday, October 18, 2010

What Does It Take To Save A Failing Marriage - Do You Think You Have It In You To Do It?

Although no marriage is exactly the same, many aspects of what it takes to save a marriage are. Everyone of us has issues, I don't care who you are. We all have things that we do that most likely bother one another, but these little things aren't the problem. It's usually not the things that you're doing that have created the marriage crisis but rather the lack of doing things that may have spawned your marriage crisis. Don't get me wrong, there are many things you should not do right now if your spouse is considering divorce or very serious about it. But, do you have what it takes to save your failing marriage? Let's see.

One of the first things I'd like to explore with you is, do you have it in you to bite your tongue? The ability to refrain from letting loose, lashing out and letting your spouse have it? Because, if you don't think that you can, then I'm not sure you have what it takes. It takes some eating crow so to speak to be able to work your way through saving your marriage. As troubling as it may seem, you have to learn to do this. I know you have a lot on your plate, a lot to say and a lot of things you need to get off your chest about what went wrong and how you see it. But, right now if you want to save your marriage, we need to work on controlling your emotions.

As a matter of fact, your spouse expects you to react a certain way right now. Your spouse knows you like the back of their hand, and knows how to push your buttons. So, let's not give them any more fuel to add to the fire. Expect your spouse to push your buttons, it's going to happen. In fact, it may have happened today or yesterday. How did you react? Did you let the anger or hurt from these statements or actions get the best of you? Did it cause you to say just as hurtful things back to your spouse? Did it cause you to do something that you probably shouldn't have, and now there's no way of taking it back? These are all examples of what our uncontrolled emotions will do.

So, do you have it in you, as a first step to learn how to control what you do, how you react, what comes out of your mouth and how you handle heated arguments and debates about your marriage crisis with your spouse? I know it's a lot to do, but you want to save your marriage right? And are willing to do what it takes to save it.

Trust me, it will bother you at first to do so, hold back from saying what's on your mind that very second when your spouse has hit below the belt, but let them. You haven't said a word, and now they have to deal with what they've said or done and have no way of justifying it now, since you didn't say or do anything of that magnitude back to them. They have to live with that, not you.

This will cause your spouse to take a second look at themselves, realize how much of a pain they have been, and may even get you an apology. At this point, they may begin to second guess their decision to separate by taking a closer look at themselves, asking his or herself why they're doing this. And, may even open up new talks about fixing the marriage together as a team.

But, there is still more work to be done. If you want to save your failing marriage, then you should learn more about how to control these emotions, what to say or do when certain situations arise that have you stumped and more importantly what steps you should take to fix the main problems in your marriage.

The steps I discovered to save a failing marriage have been so successful that it was featured on Dateline NBC and has nearly a 90% success rate! It works even when only one partner wants to save the marriage!

To learn how to save your marriage alone, then check out this plan of actions that is 100% guaranteed. Over 60,000 couples were able to save their marriages by doing the very same series of steps that you will be doing. If they saved their marriages then you can too! Click Here to see how it's done...

All my best to you and your spouse!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=R_P_Smith

R P Smith - EzineArticles Expert Author

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