Golden Rule of Marriage

By Crystal Dotson Crystal Dotson
Level: Basic PLUS

My name is Crystal, and it fits because I'm somewhat transparent. Sometimes I think a little outside the box and I think that's a good ...

I read an article and heard on the radio recently that approximately 70% of men cheat and 60% of women cheat, and approximately 17 million marriages have no intimacy. In addition the percentage of people getting married dropped in 2009 from around 57% to approximately 54%.

Well, if 70% of men and 60% of women are cheating, why would there be any intimacy in the marriage? It sounds like the majority of married people are being intimate outside of their marriage. With information like this it is not very encouraging for the institution of marriage. No wonder the marriage percentage has dropped. Yet it appears that many people like being married. It is difficult to make a marriage work with just you and your spouse. Once you add a third or fourth person into the relationship it becomes almost impossible.

I have also read how finances play an important part in relationships falling apart. I am thinking, if the intimacy is going outside the marriage then so is some of the money. Now you have no trust, no intimacy, no money and no marriage.

Are people cheating because they are not getting their needs met at home? Are they not getting their needs met at home because their spouse is cheating? What a vicious cycle. Do you say this is not about my spouse this is something I have to do for me? It is about your spouse, it is not just about you. It stopped being just about you once you got married.

Is this what you were expecting when you got married? Is this working for you? If this is what you expected, then you got what you expected and going forward you need to have higher expectations. If this is not what you expected or what you want then start working on changing things.

Start with yourselfGet your relationship with God right (vertical relationship)Stop the inappropriate relationship. (cheating) Repent, come out from among them.Talk with your spouse about doing the same if both of you are in outside relationshipsPut the same (or more) time, effort and money into your marriage that you were putting into cheating. Sneak around with your spouse. Meet them at a hotel. Flirt with your spouse all day. Have an expectation of getting with them. Just like you made plans to cheat, make plans to spend time with your spouse.Once your relationship with God is right, then your relationship with your spouse can be right. (horizontal relationship)Both people have to be involved, it may/will take time, but hang in there. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Remember the golden rule; do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Raise your expectations. I would rather have high expectations and be disappointed than to have low expectations for my life and the people in my life. Yes, I have heard the golden rule changed far too many times to do unto others before they do unto you, but that is not the golden rule. If you do not remember the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, then I suggest and advise that you remember this rule; you reap what you sow, and what goes around, comes around.

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Article Submitted On: October 08, 2010

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