Showing posts with label Posted. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Posted. Show all posts

Sunday, October 17, 2010

A Gift for Chelsea and Marc: 10 Ways to Resolve Inevitable Conflict Posted By : Phyllis Goldberg



Who doesn't love a wedding? But with months and months of planning, it only lasts a short while - and then there's the marriage. If history is prologue, neither former first daughter, Chelsea Clinton, nor longtime boyfriend, Marc Mezvinsky, had great role models for marital bliss. And that's even without the religious issues - she was raised Christian and he's Jewish.
This much publicized union is affirmation of America's shifting religious landscape. There has been a gradual increase in interfaith marriages over the past two decades and more than 30% U.S. households now are mixed-faith. Despite changing attitudes, it's still not easy to make marriage work.
If you or a loved one has recently tied the knot, you know that marriage constitutes a major change. Emotional reactions at times of transition are common and normal. And in making the necessary adjustments, some conflict is inevitable - all couples get angry and have arguments. Whether a marriage will last depends, in part, on how you prepare for the challenges. You'll find that some of these tips may serve you well:
1.Keep your communication open and honest. Talk out misunderstandings before they become arguments. Don't resort to low blows or get side-tracked by pointing out questionable character traits. Practice active listening skills and sending I-focused messages to clarify that what you're saying is your own opinion.
2.Use cooperation and compromise. Be direct yet flexible as you make your way through disagreements. Look at the issue from your partner's perspective and practice empathy. Ask yourself if being right and winning the fight is more important than the success of your relationship.
3.Minimize emotional overload. Flooding is a physiological arousal that is activated when tensions are high and communication stalls. If you're quarreling, state a desired outcome and stick to the subject at hand. Try not to blame your partner or get defensive, and take some responsibility for what's going on.
4.Practice non-threatening behavior. Monitor any negative comments and be slow to criticize. Try to control your emotions because your body language and tone of voice make a difference. Count to 10 before reacting - if it looks like the conversation is escalating, walk away.
5.Agree to a time-out strategy. Before you say something you may later regret, decide to put some distance between yourselves and the problem. Plan to return to the conversation later and work out a solution. And then take a break until you're less upset and settled down enough to listen without planning a rebuttal.
6.Find a comfortable position, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Hold your breath for several seconds and release it slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times, brushing away any distractions. Notice how focusing only on each breath can make you feel more calm.
7.Pay attention to constructive thoughts. You can turn the negatives into more positives. For example, his anger isn't all about me; we really do love each other; she's under a lot of pressure at work; this too shall pass; I'm upset now but I know we're right for each other.
8.Choose your words. In the midst of an argument, any one of these phrases would be welcomed by a partner feeling misunderstood: I might be wrong; stay with me and don't withdraw; I see my part in all of this; let's find common ground; I love you and we'll work this out.
9.Stay engaged. A gentle touch, eye contact or a quick hug can release oxytocin, a hormone that facilitates bonding as well as reduces blood pressure and stress levels. When you're feeling tense, an affectionate moment can help you feel closer, loved and even more relaxed.
10.Build emotional dividends. If you characteristically turn toward rather than away from each other, the goodwill you accumulate can provide an emotional cushion. Maintain a reserve of shared positive feelings and you will be able to draw from this supply of affection in times of conflict.
No matter who you marry, there are bound to be all sorts of differences - family values, cultural backgrounds, socioeconomic status, religious traditions. But if you work toward understanding, each can complement and enrich the other.
Chelsea and Marc have attended family holidays together so they may have already started a discussion that includes Christmas trees and Hanukah menorahs. It is often rituals and family relationships that give faith meaning. The Clintons have raised Chelsea well and she has stood by her parents through tough times. And Chelsea is a survivor - resilient, transcendent, private, well balanced - all qualities that can only enhance a marriage that seems off to a very good start.

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The No-Fault Classroom: Tools to Resolve Conflict & Foster Relationship Intelligence

Affordable San Diego Marriage Counseling Posted By : Phoenix Delray

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The marriage is a sacred and beautiful tradition that has brought billions of people together over the thousands of years since the first wedding. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, many marriages fail, and there are many couples left in ugly divorces that could have been prevented if the couple had attended sessions with a San Diego marriage counseling therapist.
A San Diego marriage counseling therapist has been trained in relationship counseling, and has spent hundreds of hours dealing with real life situations. Marriage counseling isnt the husband getting bashed, or the wife getting verbally abused, its a controlled environment where the husband and wife can communicate openly with the aid of a professional marriage counseling therapist who can see the situation from an unbiased perspective and help them deal with their marital issues using proven techniques.
Many American marriages are put to the test with financial problems, problems with children, and problems with infidelity. They arent honest about money, argue about whose money is whos, hide financial problems, spend too much, dont save enough, and many just have problems staying afloat. This will lead to problems within the marriage due to the stresses that money problems create. A certified San Diego marriage counseling therapist will help the financially stressed couple find ways to communicate better regarding their finances, money fears, and spending issues.
Children are great little gifts, but sometimes the stress of parenting can cause relationship problems between parents. The fault, in no way, lies with the child, its how the parents cope with the situations that may or may not cause marriage issues. A San Diego marriage counseling therapist will teach parents coping mechanisms, communication techniques, and activities they can do with their children to help them learn effective parenting without sacrificing their marriage.
Infidelity is one of the most documented reasons for divorce in the world. One person within the marriage tries to find satisfaction outside the marriage, and the spouse ends up in the bed of someone other than their marital partner. Feelings of betrayal, anger, grief and hatred are consequences of infidelity. A professional and compassionate San Diego marriage counseling therapist can provide individual marriage counseling for each spouse, and group marriage counseling together in order to help each member of the marriage work through the issues that lead to the infidelity in the first place.
With the help of a San Diego marriage counseling therapist, marital problems dont have to lead to divorce. Marriages can be saved and revived if the two people are willing to work through it, and the marriage counseling therapist is a skilled one.

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How to Plan the Perfect Wedding With Only $2000!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Celebrating Your First Anniversary Posted By : Terry Daniels


The honeymoon may be over, but every year after that once a year, you can still celebrate your wedding on your anniversaries. Usually the first few anniversaries tend to be not as extravagant as your honeymoon, but you can still make them special.

When I go on vacations, I like to go places that I would not normally visit and do activities that I would not normally do. My spouse and I like to travel away to places that we do not have a chance to visit which usually does not include traveling to visit family members who live in different areas.

If you have kids, I would recommend finding a babysitter if possible to watch them overnight so you and your spouse can spend a night away by yourselves. Leaving your children with a family member would probably be more comfortable for them rather than leaving them with a new babysitter.

You can even bribe a family member to come stay at your house instead of dragging your kids over there. And this situation works better if you have any pets to take care of as well.

The first thing you should consider doing is figuring out your budget. How much money can you afford to spend on this vacation?

You need to calculate the costs of hotel rooms, any activities you plan on doing, travel expenses, and food every day. Of course, all of this depends on how long you plan to be gone for.

Check with your place of employment to see what kind of time you can take off. Do not forget that you will need to use your vacation days during the holidays as well to be able to visit your family and friends.

Search the area around you to see if there are any interesting places within a few hours of where you live. If you only plan on getting away for a day or so, you do not want to spend most of that time traveling.

But if you are able to get away for a week or so, traveling further away would not be a bad idea. Some good ideas of places to look at include national parks, amusement parks, state parks, and other recreational places that are interesting and fun for both your spouse and yourself.

My spouse and I have taken a few anniversary trips to national parks and have camped out and stayed in hotels. We have always chosen to bring our own food for breakfast and lunch and only buy dinner.

This has saved us some money doing it this way, although it does take more effort and time to figure out how to do it. We usually pack a cooler with some breakfast food and lunch meat to make our first two meals and buy a small bag of ice every day to keep it cool enough.

If you stay in a hotel, check to see if they have free continental breakfasts available. That way you only need to pack stuff for lunch and some snacks.

A lot of times when you go to national parks or amusement parks, the food prices are up a lot higher than you are used to paying because they know that if you are hungry and stuck inside their park, you are willing to pay a lot more just to eat. It is worth it to us to bring our own food with us because it is a lot cheaper in the end.

Deciding on which place you want to go to on your anniversary can be hard if both people have different interests. You can always compromise and switch off years.

The first year, go to the place your spouse wants to visit. The second year, it is your turn to pick out a place to travel to.

One other thing, you do not have to get away on the exact date that your anniversary falls on, but you can plan your anniversary trip for a few days later that you are able to get off or on the following weekend. Wherever you plan your trip to, make sure that work out all the details in the beginning so that you both can have an enjoyable time.

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Engagement Ring Buying Guide Posted By : Ross Gordon

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The first factor to consider is your budget. One common guideline is to multiply your monthly wages times two. However, if your budget won't allow that, determine what you feel you can comfortably afford. While a diamond ring is highly unlikely to lose value over time, the value of an engagement ring is in what is stands for, not its status as a financial "investment."

However, an engagement ring is a major purchase, and, as such, should be properly researched to assure that you are getting the best value for your money. This article will give you some basic information about shopping for an engagement ring.

Which Comes First, the Setting or the Stone?

Many stores sell the diamonds separate from the setting; you choose each and the store puts them together. It helps if you start with a general idea of the style you want. For example, if you want a traditional solitaire, then you only have to look at solitaire settings. If on the other hand, you want a heart-shaped diamond, the possible settings are more limited. Your jeweler may be able to help you focus your style on the setting that will suit you best.

There are six basic diamond shapes: marquise, pear-shaped, heart-shaped, oval, emerald-cut, and round brilliant.

The Five Cs of Diamonds

Traditionally, diamonds are evaluated in terms of the "Four Cs": Cut, Clarity, Color, and Carat Weight.

The term "cut" is often confused with the diamond's shape. While different shapes are also referred to as "cuts" (such as "emerald cut"), for evaluation purposes, cut refers to the way facets are cut to give the diamond its "sparkle". Cuts are graded as Ideal, Premium, Very Good, Good, Fair and Poor.

Almost all diamonds have one or more flaws affecting the clarity of the stone. There are two types of flaws: internal (inclusions) and surface (blemishes). Inclusions can include cracks, air bubbles, and other minerals within the stone, while blemishes may include chips, pits, or scratches. Grades for clarity are: F-flawless; IF-internally flawless; VVSI-very very slightly included; VSI-very slightly included; SI-slightly included, and I-included. Except for grade "I", flaws are NOT visible to the naked eye, and affect only the diamond's value, not its appearance.

Color is determined by the way the diamond is formed over time, and does not change. As a general rule, the preference is toward the lighter color. Most jewelers grade color by the GIA scale, which rates diamonds from "D" (colorless)to "Z" (slightly brown). Most experts advise choosing diamonds graded "G" through "I" as they are considered "near colorless" and no color is visible to the naked eye.

The fourth "C" is Carat Weight, and refers to the size of the diamond. Because of the way diamonds are formed, smaller ones are more common that larger. Thus price reflects BOTH size and rarity. If buying a ring with more than one stone, don't rely on "ctw" -carat total weight-to determine value, especially if there is a larger center stone. Ask for weight and quality of the center stone itself.

The fifth "C" is Certification. Diamond labs issue certificates which provide a detailed "fingerprint" of each unique diamond. The certificate includes the diamond's weight, measurements, details of cut, and evaluation of quality, including the stone's individual flaws and characteristics. A certificate does not appraise the stone's value. The two most widely recognized certifying laboratories are the GIA-Gemological Institute of America and the AGS-American Gem Society.

While a jeweler may give you his opinion regarding the grading of a particular stone, an AGS or GIA certificate is based on unbiased, standardized criteria.

Three Things to Watch Out For

1. Fractions of carats. FTC rules allow diamond weights to be rounded off as fractions, so a 1/4 carat stone can weigh as little as .69 carats. Ask for the exact weight, not a fraction.

2. Laser drilling. Over 30% of diamonds are laser drilled to remove flaws. This may cause weak spots in the stone. Thus laser drilled stones may be valued lower. A certificate will state that whether or not a stone has been laser drilled.

3. Fracture Filling. New technology has made it possible to repair surface fractures with a liquid crystal. This often makes the diamond appear of higher clarity than it really is. Again, a certificate will acknowledge such treatment.

By knowing what to look for, you'll be better able to compare rings as you search for the Perfect One.

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14k White Gold Princess-Cut Diamond Engagement Ring with Matching Band (3/4 ct Center 1 1/3 cttw, G-H Color, I1 Clarity), Size 5

Catch Cheating Spouses With A DVR Hidden Camera Posted By : Jack Krohn


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It is sad to say that nearly one out of five marriages ends in divorce. Many are caused by cheating spouses. Ever since the dawn of time man and women have been guilty of cheating on their wives. Once discovered, only rarely is the damage repaired. It usually gets very ugly just ask any divorce attorney.
The effects of divorce has on husbands, wives, the kids and extended families is terrific. Not only is it expensive but it has the potential to ruin everyone's lives.. It has been ranked as one of the top three most stressful life experiences you can have.
A spouse caught cheating is becoming more commonplace. Used to be you needed a private investigator to find and catch a cheating spouse but no more. The best way to catch a spouse caught cheating is with a DVR hidden camera or hidden spy camera.
They are hidden spy cameras with a built in DVR. Some 'body worn' models even have a microphone built in to record audio too. They record images to an 8 GB SD card for easy playback.
The most popular models are the alarm clock hidden camera with built in DVR and the car key fob hidden cam with DVR and microphone an absolutely awesome security or surveillance tool.
These two models are typical of the ones available. All are common household items that blend in easily so no one knows they are being recorded and most are actual working products to furtehr the deception.
So if you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, find out one way or another with DVR spy camera. They are easy to use and require no special installation skills. Aim in the direction you want to record and use to remote to start recording.
When are you getting one?
Can you use a DVR hidden camera for home, office or business? You actually can't afford to not have one!
The uses for security cameras are endless. There are home, office and business applications. Undercover law enforcers and government agencies have been using them for years but now they are priced so low that anyone can get one. And easy to use? You bet.
Bring your business security camera game to the next level with this next generation of surveillance cameras. Find out what is going on when you are not there at home, your business or office with one of these technical marvels.

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Additional Articles From - Home | Lifestyle | Marriage
How To Find A Good Marriage Officiant - By : Greg Savoie
Affordable San Diego Marriage Counseling - By : Phoenix Delray
A Gift for Chelsea and Marc: 10 Ways to Resolve Inevitable Conflict - By : Phyllis Goldberg
Tips for Planning Your Wedding - By : Stephen Daniels
How to Find Mr Right - By : Michelle Stevens
When Should You Seek Couples Or Relationship Counseling? - By : Stephen Daniels
Catch a Cheating Spouse On The Cheap - By : Jack Krohn
Hire a Limo for a Really Memorable Special Anniversary Celebration - By : Stephen Daniels
Engagement Ring Buying Guide - By : Ross Gordon
The Steps to Finding a Great Photographer - By : Terry Daniels
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Get Back Your Girlfriend By Listening To Some Useful Advice Posted By : Christopher Smith

>What can you do to get back your girlfriend? Whether you made numerous mistakes and now you're sorry or you left her and now you've realized how much you love her, the first step is always communication.

Start with apologizing and talk to her about all the unforgettable moments you've had. Remember not to open recent wounds and just talk about your feelings. You have the greatest opportunity to get back your girlfriend if you learn how to apologize properly. Speak to her about how much you still love her, give her the right attention and make her forget about the reasons she break up with you.

Remembering the good times is always an important step to make. Try to open your heart towards her and try to communicate again. Make her believe that you deeply regret that you hurt her and that your life is empty and meaningless without her.

Whatever you do just talk form the heart. Try to be calm and gentle, relax and think about the fact that you might have another chance. Learn how to get your girlfriend back by admitting your mistakes. Moreover, leave all your fears and anger behind and try to see her as a simple friend. Make her understand that your love is still present and that she is still the woman you've always wanted.

Make peace and tell her that you not looking for a fight. Everything you want is to express your feelings again, making her change her mind. If you're trying to get your girlfriend back you must also be aware of the consequences. However, try to stay positive and talk to her in a pleasant and relaxed manner. You might have a second chance if she is still in love with you.

Overall, what you must do is to try to revive old, exceptional feelings and thus you'll win her heart again. Communication is certainly the key element to get your girlfriend back; just try to analyze the problems that appeared in the first place and fix them in order to have again the perfect relation.

View the original article here

Re-Attraction: How to Get Your Woman Back in 30 Days or Less

Hire a Limo for a Really Memorable Special Anniversary Celebration Posted By : Stephen Daniels

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A simple way to make an anniversary celebration extra special and memorable is to add a limousine to the plan. What better way to transport a couple back to their wedding day than by allowing them to pamper themselves? For some, their wedding day may have been the last time they were in a chauffeur-driven vehicle, while for others; there couldn't be a more perfect occasion for the first time.

Celebrating a golden or silver wedding anniversary with family and friends becomes that much more festive when everybody's enjoying conversation and drinks in a beautiful chauffeured car. From home to the restaurant or hall, or to a concert or show, this door-to-door service is a treat for the entire party. Without the need to worry about assigning a designated driver, getting directions or finding parking, everyone can relax and fully enjoy the couple's special day or evening.

Hiring a limousine service is also a great way to add a little intimacy to the evening. Each anniversary marks that special day when two people promised to spend their lives together. Whether it's the 1st, 14th, or 33rd, a wedding anniversary is a day of romance and reminiscing - and a chance to fall in love all over again.

Enjoying a glass of champagne, soft music, plush seating and a smooth ride is the perfect way for the couple to begin their evening. Arriving at the restaurant, both relaxed and excited, the couple is ready for a romantic meal that brings them back to their wedding day. They may even decide to try some new exotic flavors. Slipping back into the limousine after a great meal, they can continue to enjoy each other's company, while being comfortably transported to their next destination.

Limousine rentals are offered in many sizes and styles. Family members may opt for a stretch limo, or even an SUV stretch limo with crazy lights, to provide luxurious worry-free transportation for the couple and their loved ones.

A husband may surprise his wife with a chauffeured car to take them on a scenic drive to a little out-of-the way place for dinner. It's a simple way to create a memorable and special anniversary celebration. Whether enjoying dinner, a show, slow dancing or salsa, limousine rentals are an easy way to make the celebration complete. Drivers offer personalized service, and know the best-kept secrets of the area. An impromptu stop for an authentic cup of espresso or to see the city's most breathtaking views are small moments added to a couple's many shared memories.

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Strapless Chiffon Goddess Gown Prom Dress Formal - 4X

How Do I Create a Happy Marriage? Posted By : Rick Schaefer

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If you're reading this, you may either be thinking about marriage, newly engaged, or married and wanting things to be better. You want to know the secret to a happy marriage.

We probably all too well know marriages that don't seem happy. And then we know couples that have this aura about them. You may know a couple like Al and Jan. They've been married for 30 years and have 3 grown kids. And yet they have a sparkle in their eyes when they talk about each other. If you were to ask them what their secret was to having a happy marriage they may tell you that it's simple, but not always easy. Al and Jan both knew there were some things they needed to do help facilitate a happy marriage.

Know your desire. Find someone who loves you as much as you love them. You don't want a fairytale marriage but you want your marriage based on mutual love and happiness.

Picture yourself in a happy marriage. Imagine yourself as a couple doing those things that make each other happy. See the smiles on your faces. Imagine the activities you will do. Imagine the words that will be said. Close your eyes and see you and your loved one dancing to your favorite song.

Do those things that bring about peace and happiness in a marriage. It doesn't have to be big things. Quite frankly, the smaller things usually go a further way. Hold hands. Help with the dishes. Watch the kids so your spouse can have some free time. Bring home some flowers. Put a note in his lunchbox. Make his favorite meal. Plan a night away from the kids.

To help have a happy marriage, there are certain things you want to eliminate from your day. Many of these things are verbal but can often be seen in the nonverbal actions. Simply put, don't complain and don't compare.

Make sure your words build up rather than tear down your spouse. We all know the phrase, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Be honest and truthful, but make sure your words build your spouse. Give your spouse a compliment. Tell them thank you. Tell them they look pretty. Tell them "I love you"

As Al and Jan will tell you, the past 30 years had its share of both good and bad times. Things weren't always easy, but there were some simple steps they needed to do to support a happy marriage. They knew the secret.

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Living Happily Ever After : Couples Talk about Lasting Love

How The Alarm Clock Hidden Spy Camera Caught The Cheating Wife Posted By : Jack Krohn

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A simple device like an alarm clock hidden spy camera can either make or break a marriage as one man discovered. For nearly a year Kevin had been feeling like his wife no longer found him attractive. She stayed up late at night, coming to bed only after he had fallen asleep. Their intimacy had diminished to the point where it was non-existent.

She was starting to feel more like a roommate than a wife, and when Kevin tried to talk to her about it she became angry and defensive demanding that he change the subject. He didn't want to think that the woman he loved was having an affair but all of the signs seemed to be pointing in that direction. Kevin wanted to ask his wife to go to marriage counselling but first he had to know if it was worth it.

Kevin purchased a new alarm clock for the bedroom, but it was no ordinary alarm clock. Hidden spy camera devices like this not only look like the real thing, they are the real thing! It was a fully functional alarm clock that concealed a tiny color camera with a mini DVR that saved everything it recorded onto an SD card for easy viewing on any PC.

Kevin didn't see anything out of the ordinary at first and was ready to call a marriage counsellor. One day there it was! The footage clearly showed his dear wife getting it on with a man who went to their gym. When he confronted her about the affair, she denied it at first, but confessed when he showed her the footage from the alarm clock spy camera. The couple divorced amicably and Kevin had the chance to start fresh.

Infidelity with a cheating wife or husband is a big issue today. Private investigators are overloaded with work in this area. A hidden spy camera or spy camera can allow you to get the evidence yourself.

When are you getting one?

The uses for a covert hidden camera are endless. There are home, office and business applications. Undercover law enforcers and government agencies have been using them for years but now they are priced so low that anyone can get one. And easy to use? You bet.

A covert hidden spy camera can be an even better deterrent than a burglar alarm or a security guard. A camera can be used to identify the bad guys catching them red handed indoors or outdoors.

Can you use a spy hidden camera for home, office or business? You actually can't afford to not have one! Find out what is going on when you are not there at home, your business or office from anywhere in the world.

View the original article here

Stop Cheating Dead In Its Tracks

How To Announce Your Marriage Posted By : Mathieu Courchesne

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The man has popped up the big question and the lady has accepted or vise versa and now excitement is killing you and you feel like shouting it all from the rooftop to let everyone know. But as with most things pertaining to marriage and engagements there is a proper way to doing making public of your intentions.

If they are not already informed and because a person maybe too anxious to tell, this is the right time to share the good news with your families, my suggestion to you as a couple is that you share the good news individually, in order to please everyone then do the telling in a sequence. If it's convenient for you then inform the families when they're together. The individual method works best if you're unsure of the reaction of the parents and the latter is advisable and suitable if the parents already know each other.

Your wedding announcement is your first official act, and also provides a conducive environment to establish a cordial, working relationship with your to be parent in-laws. After announcing your intentions, inform them about your preference and ask for their input. Once you've informed your families its standard practice that the parents meet. According to tradition, the bride parents invite the prospective groom's parents or take them out for a meal.

Once your immediate families are informed, you may them inform your extended family members and friends. This can be done in a number of ways. There's the informal approach where you call people and inform them by phone, alternatively you can drop them an email. For a formal approach, then you can send out engagement information via mail and or organize a party to mark the event. Also after informing your immediate parents, you may choose to write and submit formal engagement announcement to the newspapers and other dailies.

Newspapers usually have a guideline that governs wedding announcements. This can be found by locating the wedding and engagement page, submission rules are often printed there. You can as well call the newspaper and inquire about this information, most will be happy to provide it.

Announcing your wedding and engagement via newspaper can serve several purposes, i.e. it's an effective way to inform your community about your about your marriage, you can also decide to make several copies of the announcement and mail out to people interested in attending the wedding. Many people also choose to save the announcement as a memorabilia for posterity. Be careful that you supply accurate information to the press before publication of the announcement. Review the names and spellings for accuracy.

Many newspapers may not be able to tell you the exact date that the announcement will go public but they may provide you with an estimate. When the announcement finally hits the pages which could take several weeks, purchase several copies of the paper and send out a copy to each parent with a personalized note. Wedding planning not just about etiquette and rules, it's about feelings too.

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The Proposal (Single Disc Widescreen)

How To Find A Good Marriage Officiant Posted By : Greg Savoie

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It's every persons wish to find someone who will perform the kind of ceremony they envision or shares the same belief system and style as the bride and groom. This also extends to matters legal, especially for those that want their union to be recognized by the law; they'll want to ensure that the officiant is qualified to conduct a civil union.
The first most basic thing you and your intended bride or groom must do is decide if you want a religious or secular ceremony. This highly personal decision will have great impact for who will marry you.
Secular Marriage Officiant
City Hall
It's easy to find someone to marry you at the city hall. You'll need to make an appointment and be willing to be married in a speedy fashion - no long drawn-out sermons here! Call your local city hall and they'll tell you everything you need to know.
A Justice of the Peace
Contact the county clerk's office where you will get your marriage license. They should have a list of local Justices of the Peace who are willing to perform wedding ceremonies. You can, of course, look in the phone book, but it's better to get the referral from someone who knows for sure that they are legally certified.
A Friend or Relative
This is a new trend that's becoming a popular option, as couples look for a more personal element in their ceremony. In some states such as California, a friend can get a one day designation of Deputy Commissioner of Marriages to perform weddings for a $40 cost. Others have chosen to get ordained on the internet through the Universal Life Church, but before you choose this option, you'll want to talk to your county clerk's office or Secretary of State's office to make sure that it is recognized in your state.
Religious Wedding Officiant
If you already have a family clergyperson, or you're getting married in a house of worship, your choice is easy. I suggest still meeting with that person to discuss the questions below and making sure you're comfortable with them.
Otherwise, you'll need to decide first what denomination best fits with your beliefs. Once you've done that, contact your local house of worship to ask if their religious rules allow them to marry people in secular settings. You might attend some worship services to get a sense of different officiants' styles, then meet with them to make sure that they are available on your date, and amenable to the type of wedding you envision.
Some questions to ask:
* How much are we allowed to customize the ceremony?
* Can we write our own vows?
* Will you marry us even if we are not current members of your house of worship?
* How do we become members?
* If we are of different faiths, or one of us is not religious, is that a problem?
* One of us is divorced; does your religion allow you to marry us?

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Wedding Officiant Handbook

How to Find Mr Right Posted By : Michelle Stevens


There is no doubt that looking for a partner is one of the hardest things that one can do. Either the timing isn't good for you or for him. He is currently in a relationship or is about to move overseas. What doesn't make the situation better is the stress and anxiety that comes with the search. No-one wants to be alone and the fear of that can make things even more difficult and taxing.

You need to put these worries out of your mind and just concentrate on the things that you can control. What that is, is to go out and meet people. The more people you meet, the better chance of you meeting the right person. Sure along the way you are going to meet a lot of weird and creepy guys but that is just part of the process.

If you are a nightclub and party person that is a good place to start. There are a lot of guys there and everything is out looking for a good time. But if you aren't, you are going to find this a waste of time. Instead you may prefer to meet guys in a setting which isn't as intense or high strung.

A good idea is at a sporting event. Guys love to watch sport and if you go to the football or something like that you are sure to meet many. The good thing about meeting a guy in setting such as this is that it is a very good insight as to the type of person that he is. From this point of view, it can be far more beneficial than a date.

He won't be pretending or on show so you can get a glimpse of what type of person he is. Is he a gentleman who is well-mannered and well spoken? Is he uncouth or cheap? You are going to find all this out as you see his reactions to watching the sport unfold. How does he react to things? Is he a friendly guy? Is he the kind of person you can see yourself growing old with?

Another place where you can see how a guy reacts is the casino. Stand by the blackjack table and watch him play. How does he react to winning and losing? Is he graceful or does he make excuses? Is he polite to the dealer? What is he like to his fellow players? You will find all of these things out giving you a better picture of him than what a date would.

The fact of the matter is that a date is a bit of a charade. People try to put on a show and come across as someone they aren't. They want to do anything they can in order not to offend. What is the point of not letting the other person know what you are like for fear of them not liking you? It seems like the exact opposite of what the date should achieve.

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Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones (Signet)

Newlyweds -- Merge Mortgage With Refi Posted By : Ki Gray


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Couples who decide to get married have many decisions ahead of them as to how they will live their lives after they are married. Merging finances is typically one of the first things worked out. If both own homes, that issue should fall at the top of the list. One decision might be to keep both homes - live in one and rent the other out, and then do a mortgage refinance on both. Another might to sell one, live in the other and do a mortgage refinance.

How to Determine Which House to Sell

There are several factors that need to be determined before deciding on which house to sell. See the list below for some considerations. Preface each question below with "Which home ... :

*Is closest to each one's work location?
*Has the greatest amenities?
*Has the lowest property taxes?
*Has a higher market value?
*Needs the least amount of repairs?
*Would be easiest to sell? Is in a neighborhood where homes are selling fairly fast?
*Has access to the best schools? This is only if you will be living in the home long-term and planning a family.
*Meets the needs of both individuals in the marriage? Needs versus wants may have to be further discussed.
*Has the lowest balance/principle due?
*Is closest to relatives, if this is important?

Before making any decisions regarding both homes, print off this article for each, or write the bulleted items out on a piece of paper. Include any additional related questions. Each person needs to rank each item as to the degree of importance. Put a ranking number next to each, one being the highest priority. Compare lists and see which items on which both agree. This exercise may help drill down to the most important issues, resolve them and assist in moving on to making a decision.

Refinancing the Mortgage

Once the decision is made regarding each home, the next step is to decide on whether to refinance the mortgage(s) under both names or simply add the other person's name to the deed. Prior to refinancing, find out what interest rate will be offered if the note is refinanced under both names. Obtain interest rates from several lenders and require that all fees be provided to you in writing, along with the date through which the interest rate is effective.

If a higher interest rate will be required, the easiest way to resolve any issues on the ownership of the home might be to simply add the other person's name to the deed. Some states are considered "joint property" states and require property to be divided equally in the case of divorce, regardless of whose name is on the mortgage.

It doesn't matter if only one person in the marriage is on the mortgage note, since joint property states require that both be on the deed. Check to see if the state in which you will be living has "joint property" laws regarding the division of marital property. If it is a joint property state, then state law dictates that both have equal access to marital property, including real estate like a home. With both names on the deed, each has equal access to the property. Consult legal counsel, however, prior to making this decision.

If a lower interest rate is the result, then the best financial resolve is to do a mortgage refinance using both incomes. There are a variety of mortgages from which to choose. A lender can help refine the choices to one that works best for your financial situation and needs.

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Mortgage Ripoffs and Money Savers: An Industry Insider Explains How to Save Thousands on Your Mortgage or Re-Finance

The Easiest Way to Catch a Cheating Spouse Posted By : Jack Krohn


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Marital infidelity is a huge and growing problem. Private investigators that specialize in this field are experiencing a boom in business. Marital infidelity is devastating on so many levels it ruins the foundation of trust so necessary in any relationship.

If you are married and suspect a cheating spouse, what is the easiest way to catch a cheating spouse?
Get a spy camera and catch him/her red handed. The evidence is irrefutable and will hold up in any divorce court.

There are all sorts of hidden spy cameras on the market today. Most of them are complicated to set up and use. Some are very easy like the all inclusive spy cameras with built in DVR.

These cool spy tools are tiny cameras and a mini DVR hidden inside an everyday item that you would see in a home, office or business which gives them great flexibility. The wall clock spy camera, an alarm clock, desk lamp, exit sign and am/fm radio are some examples. Most of the hiding places for the cameras are in actual working products to carry out the deception.

You use a remote control to start, stop and change settings like speed and resolution. Images are recorded on an 8 GB SD card for up to 144 hours of recording time. Motion activation and scheduled recording times are some of the features along with a date/time stamp.

To playback your recordings simply use the RCA cable to your TV or remove the SD card and insert it into your card reader.

When you need to know for sure if your spouse is cheating on you, this is the easiest way to catch a cheating spouse. If he/she isn't cheating on you you will find out soon enough.

A hidden spy camera will go a long way to see what is going on when you are not there. When are you getting one?

A home spy camera can be an even better deterrent than a burglar alarm or a security guard. A camera can be used to identify the bad guys catching them red handed indoors or outdoors.

Home spy cameras used to be a luxury for homes and businesses. Now they have become a necessity. Insurance companies will give you a discount if you have a good security camera system for your building too. No matter what type of building you own you need a security camera for it.

Can you use a home spy camera for home, office or business? You actually can't afford to not have one! Find out what is going on when you are not there at home, your business or office with one of these technical marvels.

If you are reading this chances are crime has somehow touched your life directly or indirectly thru relatives, friends or neighbors. Don't become the next victim. Take some action today and get a home spy camera and find out what is going on when you are not there.

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The Deception and Betrayal Caused By A Cheating Spouse

The Steps to Finding a Great Photographer Posted By : Terry Daniels


The first thing you should do when you need a photographer is to figure out what you can afford. What is your budget for this event and how much are you willing to spend?

Usually, the better the quality, the more expensive the service is. Talking to any friends or family that might have a contact of someone they know who is a photographer might be a good place to start.

Getting a recommendation from someone that you trust makes it not as risky. Good photographers will try to network as much as they can to find new clients.

After talking to friends and family, you can check other sources of information to find a photographer. Looking online will give you a great start and a lot of different options to choose from.

Once you have found a few photographers, call or email them to set up an appointment to meet them. You want to talk to them beforehand and get to know them a little bit before you hire them to take pictures of your special day whatever it may be.

They should have some kind of portfolio in which they can show you all of their past work that they have done. Ask to look through it when you meet with them for the first time.

Hiring someone who is more experienced in this business is preferable to someone who is just starting out. They will have more experience and usually get better shots than someone who still kind of experimenting with their art.

This will give you a good idea of what their style is and what kinds of things they like to focus on. Make sure that they have a variety of different types of photos that include all kinds of events.

For example, the wedding shots they took will differ from the maternity pictures they took. If they are a really photographer, then they should be able to shot all different kinds of shots and have the pictures turn out really well.


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Make sure that you like their style and are comfortable with everything that they do. Remember that you are the one paying for it and they are there to help you and do everything in their power to give you what you want.

If you are looking for a photographer to shot your wedding, then plan a session well in advance so that they can shoot some pictures of you for bridal and groom photos. Ask them to give you the proofs right away so that you can see if you like them or not and want to keep them hired for your actual wedding day.

Before you hire someone to shoot your special day, talk about the prices that they have and any possible discounts that they are willing to give. See if they have any package pricing available and also if they will give you the rights to your photos so that you can make as many copies as you want.

If you have the rights to the pictures, then it gives you the freedom to choose which photos you want printed and how you want them printed instead of giving all the creative control to one person. You should have a say in what you want and a right to make extra photo copies of yourself.

After you have met with at least four different potential professional photographers, then you can feel confident that you are well enough informed to make a good decision. Once again, you want to feel completely comfortable with whoever you hire, so make sure that you love their art and are excited to have them shoot for your event.

When that big day comes, remember that you are still the one in charge and that you should feel free to tell the photographer what you want whether it is a certain pose, a picture of a specific group of people, or whatever you want. You are the one paying for their services and you want to make sure they do the job good enough for you.

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Step-by-Step Wedding Photography: Techniques for Professional Photographers

Tips for Planning Your Wedding Posted By : Stephen Daniels


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Probably the most important first steps in this journey are to set a date, create a budget and decide on a wedding venue. Everything else flows from these critical actions. If budget is a primary concern, you may want to consider an off-season wedding. It's lovely to be a June bride, but perhaps it would be even lovelier to take advantage of the off-season discounts and extra services that these facilities offer.

Once a location has been secured, the rest of the planning can be done. Deciding on a dress, choosing members of the wedding party, making a guest list, and so forth can all begin once a theme, location and date have been set.

Some other wedding-related projects are considered do-it-yourself, including the creation of invitations and picking the wardrobe of the wedding party. However, when it comes to the ceremony and reception, including catering, seating, music, table decorations and the like, today's full service banquet halls can lift enormous burdens off your shoulders.

Many of these locations have wedding planners and caterers on staff. Often, these locations have wedding reception packages that include meals, music, dressing rooms and guest parking and/or transportation. Just imagine handing over these details required to make your special day stress-free and in the hands of professionals.

Picking the wedding cake is, of course, a crucial decision that is made easy with the help of these planners. Instead of traipsing all over town sampling various flavors and designs, a full service wedding venue's caterer can stage a tasting party just for you. Something that could have been a time and energy consuming chore can be turned into a fun and delicious get together. Inviting a few close friends and/or relatives along to join in the decision making is also a good way to cut down on the family feuds that sometimes mar what should be a joyous occasion.

If your banquet hall is part of a hotel or inn, there are often room specials for wedding parties - reducing the concern over where everyone will stay and if they will get around smoothly. Many off-season wedding packages can also include complimentary lodging for the bride and groom before they head off to their honeymoon.

So, if your wedding seems comprised of an overwhelming list of things to do, one great way to cut that list in half would be to look into using a full service wedding venue and leave the worrying and scurrying to them.


Simple Stunning Weddings: Designing and Creating Your Perfect Celebration

What Is Common Law Marriage? Posted By : Brian Jones


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Common law marriage is a type of marriage that exists without a service and is based on two individuals consenting to the union. It is typically the outcome of two individuals cohabitating for a long period of time. There are three basic features of common law union:

1.Willingness to wed (both individuals).

2.Living together for a period of time.

3.Public representations of marriage by displaying a married image to the public.

WAYS TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE

Sometime within a common law union, both individuals want to wed. Marriage gives feeling of togetherness and a sense of security. If you are prepared to take the common law marriage to the next level here are some exciting suggestions to propose:

1. I must mention the vintage way of proposing. Go down on one knee with a rose between your teeth and the ring in your hand.

2. If your mate loves to read and never let a day pass without reading the newspaper, get a full page ad asking him/her to marry you.

3. Use chalk to write the words 'will you marry me?' outside his/her residence so when he/she departs the house he/she will be greeted with a splendid surprise. Of course you should present with a ring prepared.

4. Send your partner on a search by sticking notes around the house. The first note should be tactically. placed where heshe will notice it as soon as they step inside. The hints should lead to you, down on one knee with a ring.

5. Assemble love ones outside hisher home holding a huge banner with the words 'will you marry me?' You should be at the front on one knee with a ring.

6. Arrange a party and have friends and family attend. Each person should be wearing a t-shirt with one letter from the phrase 'will you marry me?' You should suggest having a group picture taken so that the patrons (informed in beforehand can organize themselves to spell the question 'will you marry me?

7. Get boxes of different sizes. Wrap the biggest one nicely and put the rest inside. Arrange them from the biggest right down to the tiniest box. The ring must be placed in the smallest box so that after working his/her way down to the last box, he/she will discover the ring.

8. Make him/her a bath all bordered by glowing candles. When he/she is in the bath, put a rubber ducky with the ring fastened to its neck and float to him/her. Now is the ideal moment to propose.

9. Take himher for a nice retreat. On the final day of the vacation, get down on one knee and pop the question.

10. Take him/her to the beach and when he/she is not noticing, engrave the words 'will you marry me?' in the sand. Make sure you have the ring prepared when heshe sees it.

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When Should You Seek Couples Or Relationship Counseling? Posted By : Stephen Daniels



After the early days of a relationship, couples ideally find themselves in a place that is defined by love, respect and admiration. But once you have committed to spending your life with someone, you need to do regular maintenance on your relationship and make sure that you are moving forward happily as one, and are both on the same page. Even the best of relationships can sometimes hit a rocky patch, and when it does, it can be hard to know exactly when to seek marriage counseling. Long story short, if the commitment and love are still there, but your problems as a couple seem to have reached a point where you can't find solutions on your own, it may be time to seek couples counseling.
There are many common issues for couples that can be successfully addressed through counseling, including:

1. Communication problems. Making sure that your concerns are heard and understood can be a challenge in any relationship. Sometimes, due to busy and stressful lives, couples find that therapy is a great opportunity to really engage each other in meaningful conversation. These new communication skills often find their way into their daily lives rather easily.

2. Financial issues. One of you might have an extreme shopping habit, while the other prefers to set a budget and live well within it. Habits and beliefs surrounding money can be fairly ingrained into one's personality, and can be difficult for couples to find common ground on. Doing so, however, is of utmost importance to a healthy relationship, and a good therapist will have many tools that can help you get there.

3. Infidelity. If, after an infidelity has occurred, you both still feel there is a possibility that the relationship can be saved, you will want to enlist the services of an experienced therapist to help you find strategies to deal with any underlying issues.

4. Sexual issues. A healthy, satisfying sex life is a very important part of any relationship. A good counselor can help you find ways to rekindle the love and affection that you both need and deserve.

5. Divorce. Obviously, not all relationships can, or should, be saved. Therapy or mediation can help you deal effectively and respectfully with a split, both as a couple and as individuals.

Of course, these are just a few of the issues that can be greatly helped through couples counseling. Just remember: If the problem feels bigger than what you can solve on your own, consider seeking help.


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